Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Packet of Biscuits (circa 2005)

While packing to move I came across these old storyboards from a project back in college.
It was for a speech class where I had to present a story of something drawn out, (this was art college mind you) so I chose Douglas Adams story about the stolen biscuits..

This is over 6 years old but I'm not totally appalled by it

This actually did happen to a real person

and the real person is me.

I had gone to catch a train. It was April in Cambridge, UK

I was a bit early for the train

as I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.

So I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup
of coffee and a packet of biscuits

 I went and sat at a table

Now I want you to picture the scene. Its very important that you get this
very clear in your mind. Here's the table,


Cup of coffee

Packet of biscuits

There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly-ordinary looking guy
wearing a business suit.

It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird.

What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across the table, picked up
the packet of biscuits, tore it open

took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say is the sort of thing the British are
very bad at dealing with.

There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that
teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight
has just stolen your biscuits.

So, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do:
I ignored it.

And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee,

tried to do a clue in the paper, couldn't do anything, and thought
"what am I going to do?" ... In the end I thought 
"I'll just have to go for it"

I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet 
was already mysteriously opened.

I took out a biscuit for myself. And thought, "that settled him."

But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again.

He took another biscuit.

Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder
to raise the subject this time around.

"Excuse me, uhh... I couldn't help but notice..."
I mean, it doesn't really work.

So we went through the whole packet like this.When I say whole packet, 
I mean that there were only about eight biscuits, but it felt like a lifetime.
He took one,

I took one,

He took one,

I took one.

Finally we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.

Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, 

then he walked away.

And I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back.

A moment or two later my train was comign in,
so I tossed back the rest of my coffee

stood up

picked up my newspaper

and underneath the newspaper were my biscuits.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Thats hilarious Mike!! What an awesome story!
-sara fitch